I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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