Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
