Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
