Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize