I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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