You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
im about as happy as oj after his trial
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize