Someone shit on the floor
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
