Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
