He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
