ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
