So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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