planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
