did you get engaged???
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
