That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
