dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
