absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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