She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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