Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
