I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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