she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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