i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
