At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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