I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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