So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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