I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
