no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
