I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
If I die, sorry about rent.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
