i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
