I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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