Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
