yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
