i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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