Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
