I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
