There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
