I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize