He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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