Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
