you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize