Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Screwed.edu
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
