youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
