Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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