i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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