I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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