i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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