i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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