Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Alive.
So much puke
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
