I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
