I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
