I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
