In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
