o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
