I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
well most of my day revolves around power hour
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
