We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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