Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
