What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
